Mr. Toad's Wild Rant

What we've become

2009-08-25T19:25:00.002-07:00

Suck on that, you flag waving motherfuckers. Not like you give a damn, and why should you? Just because it's true.

Foreigners are funny: Colorado

2009-07-23T15:39:00.003-07:00

Wow. We've got personalized plates here in Washington; over two dozen if I recall correctly. But the idea of the law authorizing a plate allowing the person who came up with the idea to terminate it if they don't like how they're being used boggles my mind. Wouldn't that normally be, like, up to the legislature or the state licensing agency? Since when do you grant legislative/executive authority to an individual outside state government?

Plus, this woman is a whack job. She got the state to create a breast-cancer related plate that says "support", "encourage" and "committed to a cure." Currently, the fees only make money for the state highway department. Now that it's been changed to raise some money to actually help people who have breast cancer, she's pissed off and wants to cancel it? Err...

"They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter"

2009-07-19T07:36:00.002-07:00

Jimmy Carter leaves the Southern Baptist Church. I think Jimmy is a good man, but he is also a shrewd politician, and he may see a role for himself in the middle east, where both major religions need bullshit called on their treatment of women. And when you point a finger, three point back at you.

Offensive Re-headlining of the Week

2009-07-18T06:21:00.002-07:00

"Girl Can't Handle Giant Wiener"

Down The Memory Hole

2009-07-17T14:01:00.001-07:00

You don't own copies of 1984 and Animal Farm. You have never owned copies of 1984 and Animal Farm.

Ad of the Week

2009-06-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

Nice. She's going to have to open wider than that!

"Message Bearer"

2009-06-02T08:35:00.001-07:00

Oh shit; I think all you Niven/Pournelle fans out there know what THIS means.

Epic Fail!

2009-05-30T07:19:00.001-07:00

$150,000 damage to his employer's tractor? DUI and leaving the scene charges are the least of this guy's worries. Nicely done!

Reagan on Torture

2009-04-24T15:00:00.001-07:00

A fine Quote of the Day nominee.

Quote of the Day

2009-04-23T08:20:00.002-07:00

"We are America! I don't give a rat's ass if it helps. We are AMERICA! We do not fucking torture! We don't do it."

-- Shephard Smith

"Why is programming fun?"

2009-04-17T13:49:00.002-07:00

An excellent answer to a good question. I read The Mythical Man-Month 26 years ago for seminar my freshman year in college. Still got it on my bookshelves, I know exactly where it is, and I may just have to take it down again soon.

"Don't judge a book by its cover"

2009-04-15T16:31:00.002-07:00

A lovely reminder to us all.

COON RIDER!!!

2009-04-06T07:21:00.001-07:00

Fighting for justice in a post-apocalyptic urban wasteland!

Quote of the Day

2009-03-31T06:18:00.001-07:00

"If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district..." Yes, possibly not exactly what his attorney would've wanted him to say.

This is a headline

2009-03-26T10:30:00.002-07:00

...you really could do a lot with; unfortunately, I understand they're planning to bring him back. Damn you, Charles Simonyi, for your foul creation! Damn you for your Hungarian notation! God damn you to Hell.

Madoff Bail Revoked

2009-03-12T16:46:00.002-07:00

Whoo hoo. Yeah. The SEC knew about this motherfucker in 2000. I think Rep. Ackerman went a little easy on them, in hindsight.

Pigs

2009-03-04T18:04:00.003-08:00

Well, I suppose there may be people being helped. And I'm not saying that what these assholes are doing now is wrong, per se. I'm just thinking they shouldn't be the ones doing it because they should be in a fucking federal prison. I mean, if you'd take a job helping the homeless because it paid you a massive salary, but if you weren't being paid for that, you'd just kick 'em in the balls, spit on them on the ground, and walk on by...what kind of fucking human being are you? Pardon me, "human being" should have had quotes around it.

Speaking of pigs, may I present...the Chicago Police Department!

School Reform

2009-03-03T07:40:00.000-08:00

Indeed, the children are our future.

Grammar Nazis

2009-02-25T16:13:00.000-08:00

Headline of the Year (so far)

2009-02-25T05:59:00.001-08:00

Couldn't have put it better myself: Tearful Atlanta Cops Express Remorse for Shooting 92-Year-Old Kathryn Johnston, Leaving Her To Bleed to Death in Her Own Home While They Planted Drugs in Her Basement, Then Threatening an Informant So He Would Lie To Cover It All Up. Like Sheriff Joe, putting the P, the I and the G in "pig"...

Revelstone

2009-02-23T18:33:00.002-08:00

Carved from the living rock, it won't be mine, unless I can somehow win the lottery in the next two weeks. And yet...here is a place of beauty that makes my heart sing like nothing ever has before. If only...

More evidence of the coming Madness

2009-02-22T10:32:00.003-08:00

First the hedge fund managers, now George Soros. Need to work on my supplies; I'm pretty well fixed for 7.62, 9mm, .22LR and .38 Special, but woefully lacking for the 12 gauge and the .380s. A couple 50 gallon barrels of Prince Alexis wouldn't be a bad idea, either.

Gary Condit

2009-02-21T12:15:00.001-08:00

Heh. So that congressman who murdered the intern he was banging might not have done it after all, huh? Wait, I suppose that's not quite the right way to put that...

You pigs wiped your asses with the Constitution

2009-02-06T13:41:00.001-08:00

So shut your fucking hole about respect, traitor.

A poem for Scott

2009-02-01T11:22:00.004-08:00

Well, I doubt if John Updike had me in mind when he wrote this, but it seems to fit, doesn't it?

It came to me the other day:
Were I to die, no one would say,
“Oh, what a shame! So young, so full
Of promise — depths unplumbable!”

Instead, a shrug and tearless eyes
Will greet my overdue demise;
The wide response will be, I know,
“I thought he died a while ago.”

"One day a peacock.

2009-01-31T08:15:00.001-08:00

The next day a feather duster." Ladies and gentleman, the new Governor of Illinois. I think I like this guy.

From the horse's mouth

2009-01-29T17:42:00.003-08:00

Why I hate "economics", "the economy" and anything else where we treat people as groups rather than individuals. In the New York Times' own words:

"Saving, or paying off debt, might make sense for individual households, but what the economy needs most is for people to spend money, helping stores to sell more, factories to produce more and employers to avoid cutting additional jobs."

So how to we explain to our kids that the role of government is to persuade individuals and families to act against their best interests, because it's necessary for "the economy"?

Who's the man?

2009-01-19T10:06:00.005-08:00

I am the man. Major score in the Yellowstonalia department: an uncut Yellowstone Kelley for $13.30. Hoo boy! Those things are worth much more; I suspect the seller's misspelling of her name as "Kelly" may have been responsible - one's a paper doll, the other's a movie, and if you're only searching for one of those two, it doesn't take too many typos in the search bar for you to learn to get it right.

(I don't really care about the skanky "Barbie Going Camping" and her slut friend PJ; perhaps they can light a fire in my stove, like the fire my sweet Yellowstone Kelley has lit in my heart.)

KHAAAAAAN!

2009-01-17T06:52:00.001-08:00

Okay, that was six. How many do YOU use? (For regular readers of this blog - if there are any - what does that curve look like to you? Hint: That reminds me, I have a project to finish up from the election.)

The Madness

2009-01-16T17:33:00.003-08:00

...may be coming after all - at least, some folks in a position to know think so. Whoo hoo! But to hell with gold; after the madness comes, "money" will be ammo, liquor and porn. Probably in that order.

"To the last, I will grapple with thee

2009-01-14T16:49:00.002-08:00

...from Hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!"

Ricardo Montalbán, 1920-2009...rest in peace. May you be buried in your finest Corinthian leather. KHAAAAAAANNNN!

Blagojevich Balls

2009-01-13T20:44:00.002-08:00

For great justice!

2009-01-11T18:05:00.001-08:00

In honour of the past champions of "World's Strongest Man", I hereby rename my cat, formerly "Lucas" as..."Magnus Felinesson"

Sleepwalking through life

2009-01-06T16:00:00.005-08:00

An interesting article poses some uncomfortable questions; of course, those are usually the kind we need to be asking ourselves. As my former coworker Bob Benn once said, if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there. Color me guilty as charged.

Oh, call the waaaahmbulance

2009-01-05T17:12:00.002-08:00

You worthless pigs. You think you've got it bad? I wish these goddamn things were made out of steel wool...

Sounds good to me

2009-01-05T16:29:00.002-08:00

Ya know, I wasn't sure what to think of Leon Panetta for CIA - I mean, where the hell did that appointment come from? But if Diane Feinstein's gonna have a cat about it, like I said in the title...sounds good to me. I'll bet you wanted an "intelligence professional" in charge there, you fucking torturing evesdropping lawbreaking Constitution-violating bitch...

The guy who puts the "p", "i" and "g" in "pig"

2008-12-27T12:45:00.003-08:00

..apparently has his own TV show now. Pardon me while I wash the vomit off the keyboard. It's too bad it'll be taped; I might tune in if it was live, in hopes of seeing some joker Glock this bastard right in the head like he deserves. Actually, for a bad cop on a scale like his, that's a little better than he deserves.

Snow ho ho!

2008-12-27T09:04:00.002-08:00

John Edwards' Illegitimate Love Child!

2008-12-18T11:20:00.002-08:00

...is apparently back in the news. Thanks, Enquirer!

Mmm...

2008-12-17T13:55:00.002-08:00

"Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

Happy Birthday, old friends!

2008-12-17T08:47:00.002-08:00

The Wind in the Willows turns 100 this year. And I didn't think Mr. Badger looked a day over 90!

War on Christmas: We're all naughty

2008-12-11T06:05:00.003-08:00

...and so, apparently, Santa Claus is going to take us all to hell. Now we're gonna have Westboro Baptist in the fucking capitol? File this one under "there goes the neighbourhood."

Tony Soprano or Rod Blagojevich?

2008-12-10T06:32:00.001-08:00

"One's a trash-talking thug trying to stay one step ahead of the law. The other was played by James Gandolfini." Take the quiz!

Football Trivia

2008-12-06T10:13:00.001-08:00

The Seattle Seahawks have never won more than two games in any year in which a new Democratic president has been elected.

Whoo hoo! We're Ground Zero

2008-12-06T10:02:00.002-08:00

in Bill O'Reilly's "War on Christmas." And hostilities seem to be escalating.

My two cents worth? All this nonsense that goes on in December doesn't have a damn thing to do with Jesus Christ; it's a massive obscene orgy of commercialism, and if any god is being worshipped, his name is Mammon. Oh, and these folks with the sign in our capitol? Atheists my ass; they sound more like fucking pagans to me. If you're really atheists, believing in no god or higher power, what's the big deal about the season of "THE WINTER SOLSTICE" (in all caps)? Why would you celebrate December 21st as being somehow more special than, say, December 17th or March 20th or any other of 364 days?

Mr. Benford Goes to Washington

2008-12-03T17:38:00.002-08:00

Thurston County, Washington, that is: Preliminary analysis of major federal and state races from Thurston County's general election vote last month. More to come.

Jesus H. Fucking Duh

2008-12-02T20:53:00.001-08:00

What the hell have I been saying for years now?? Studies show...Scott's right! Go figure.

Oh, and hang up the fucking phone.

Oddity of the Week: Benford's Law

2008-12-01T05:22:00.003-08:00

Take a bunch of numbers - say, check register entries from Quicken, or voter turnout data. Now take just the first digit of each of those numbers, and count up how many you find of each digit 1-9. You'd expect to find those first digits pretty evenly distributed, wouldn't you? Roughly as many eights as twos, and so forth? Au contraire, mon frere: meet Benford's Law.

Without a doubt the strangest thing I've seen in some time; eerily reminiscent of the ending of "Contact" (the book, not the movie). But also an incredibly powerful tool, particularly when applied to the actions of those who aren't aware of it, such as the hapless Wayne James Nelson in this article from the Journal of Accountancy.

Also a tool that's very simple for us to apply ourselves - all we need is a big ol' pile of numbers, like say precinct vote totals, as Fallows suggests at the end of his article re: Minnesota and Florida recounts. I'd very much to see how Alaska's vote totals from this last election compare. But think global and start local, right?

Five minutes after typing "Thurston County Auditor" into Google, I had a CSV file with the vote totals for the presidental election from all the precincts in my county. Another ten minutes later and I had a QBASIC program to pull all the numbers and tally the first digits of all vote totals by precinct for all candidates. Results?

1st digit	Occurred	%
1	450	35.60126%
2	313	24.76266%
3	189	14.95253%
4	105	8.306962%
5	68	5.379747%
6	43	3.401899%
7	37	2.927215%
8	34	2.689873%
9	25	1.977848%

Not quite the perfect Benford distribution, but the curve is sure as hell the right shape, and as Fallows notes, it doesn't come out as cleanly if your numbers are chosen to fit a specific range, and precincts are things of an arbitary size - they may vary widely, but they don't seem to get much larger than "several hundred." Hence, while you might find 3, 32 or 317 votes for Obama in more than one precinct, I saw only three precincts going for our new president by 500 or more votes, and none by more than 699 - you may get 7 or 75, but you're not getting 702. Probably an adequate enough explanation for the greater occurrence of low digits in our curve, and the paucity of higher ones - "8" should clock in at just of 5%, and we get 2.7% from our sample.

In short, good enough to say "no obvious smoking gun in Thurston County presidential results." But that's just one tiny subset of a huge election. Man, I could waste a LOT of time playing with this. We like databases!

UPDATE: Two minor glitches discovered in my original code - first, some precincts were omitted more or less randomly, second and more significantly, I failed to omit "combined" precincts where the auditor stated results were combined with another precinct "to protect voter privacy." Well, 6+5=1 with what we're doing, so that could certainly skew things, but not by a lot it turns out:

1st digit	Occurred	%
1	502	35.57761%
2	337	23.88377%
3	223	15.80439%
4	123	8.717222%
5	75	5.315379%
6	45	3.189228%
7	41	2.90574%
8	37	2.622254%
9	28	1.984408%

Maybe it was God. Or his conscience.

2008-11-21T07:21:00.003-08:00

I see Attorney General Moleman, er, Mukasey collapsed last night during a speech to the Federalist Society. According to Talking Points Memo, he "was roughly twenty minutes into a speech defending the administration's torture policies and particularly arguing against prosecutions of people who made decisions in the aftermath of 9/11 (essentially arguing against what he believed amounted to the criminalization of policy differences)."

I'm sorry if this sounds cold, but my thoughts and prayers are not with the Attorney General and his family. A government official who defends torture and lawbreaking, who trivializes violations of international law and the Geneva Conventions as mere "policy differences", and who apparently believes his responsibilities as Attorney General of the United States include covering up criminal activity by his predecessors and the administration he serves, well...

So very sad

2008-11-19T17:47:00.003-08:00

We've come so far as a nation; a cause for joy and celebration for those who, like Dr. King, dream of a day when our children will be judged "not by the color of their skin, but by the quality of their character." And yet we still have so far to go.

Truth in Advertising

2008-11-16T16:52:00.002-08:00

The "Blog" of "Unneccesary" Quotation Marks (a highly recommended publication, BTW) nails the downtown Subway at 4th and Quince.

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"

2008-11-15T10:07:00.001-08:00

Nice to think we might soon have a president who understands that.

LOLcat, indeed

2008-11-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

Picture of the day.

Change we can...digest?

2008-11-07T09:10:00.002-08:00

Colorado Senate, District 14: It's what's for dinner. (And yes, that shirt would be awesome.)

Wow: President.

2008-11-06T17:44:00.004-08:00

I still can't get over that it's actually happened, that it went off largely without a hitch and as predicted, that all the voting machines in the country didn't automatically flip that little switch inside to "evil", and that Barack Obama is now the president-elect. Or, as The Onion so aptly puts it: "Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job".

Now, of course, is the time for the back-biting and disillusionment and complaining to begin, as President Obama turns out not to be exactly what each and every one of us dreams of in a perfect president. Hell, let's start with Rahm Emanuel for $500, Alex - WTF is up with that?!

But first... can we please, PLEASE have our promised castration of Joe Lieberman?

Vote Suppression, Scott-style

2008-11-04T12:48:00.002-08:00

Madelyn Payne Dunham, R.I.P.

2008-11-03T18:12:00.002-08:00

Senator Obama's grandmother passes away on the eve of the election. Thank you, Toot, for helping make your grandson into the man who may be our next president - you did pretty damn good.

"If They're Too Big To Fail, They're Too Big Period"

2008-11-02T07:33:00.002-08:00

Former Clinton Secretary of Labour Robert Reich has a very good point about this damn bailout and the conditions allegedly making it necessary. Reduced to a kindergarten level, isn't the premise of capitalism supposed to be that if you're good at what you do, you succeed, and if you're not, you fail? Apparently, that only applies to small businesses; once you're big enough, mommy government will bail you out if you screw up big-time. Hey, what's that spinning noise? Oh, it's just Adam Smith, cranked up to about 10,000 RPM in his grave.

Six more days. Yes we can!

2008-10-29T17:59:00.000-07:00

"I's not sayin' she's lyin', Mr. Atticus...

2008-10-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

...she just mistaken in her head."

Oh no, that would be awful!

2008-10-06T17:01:00.004-07:00

Ha ha, I'm just being sarcastic. Seriously, this story is great news - I'd been led to believe that these companies were really in some kinda bad trouble, and this government bailout (with our tax dollars) was some really neccesary, important thing we had to do to save the world. It's nice to see a lot of these outfits weren't so bad off after all.

Mental Health Break: Gates of Steel

2008-09-24T20:41:00.001-07:00

CHARLES FUCKING KEATING

2008-09-21T19:04:00.002-07:00

Yeah, you heard me McCain, you fucking worthless lying corrupt piece of shit. We sure as hell know what kind of people - and their friends in congress - have caused this kind of shit before, don't we? CHARLES FUCKING KEATING, ASSHOLE! It's about time we started hearing that name a lot.

Vice Presidential nominee?

2008-09-19T21:21:00.003-07:00

Or Miss Teen USA contestant? YOU match the quote with the person!

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our [children]."

"Disappointed that taxpayers are called upon to bail out another one. Certainly AIG though with the construction bonds that they're holding and with the insurance that they are holding very, very impactful for Americans, so you know the shot that has been called by the Feds — it's understandable but very, very disappointing that taxpayers are called upon for another one."

Don't worry, there's no time limit.

"A New Twist to an Old Favorite"

2008-09-13T13:41:00.001-07:00

Mmm, hot beef sundae...

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

2008-09-12T17:03:00.001-07:00

Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life

Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?

2008-09-10T19:35:00.001-07:00

Get up to the minute updates.

John McCain: The Child Molester's Candidate

2008-09-10T16:27:00.003-07:00

Well, that's really what it comes down to, isn't it? He wants your children to be molested, and he doesn't want them to tell you about it. QED!

Palin for...PRESIDENT!

2008-09-09T06:07:00.001-07:00

Well, it's about time, internet; I've been waiting for this for almost two weeks now:

Question of the Day

2008-09-03T07:26:00.004-07:00

"What kind of attitude is that?" Well, let me tell you, Steve. Remember when you saw "Peter Pan" as a kid, and Tinkerbell drank the poison? And we all thought she was dead, but then Peter talked directly to the audience, and told us to all clap our hands, and Tink would live? M'kay then. Next question?

Well, at least the maternity issue's settled

2008-09-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

...or is it??

Err, WTF?!

2008-08-31T16:12:00.002-07:00

So, I guess what *I'd* like know after reading this story is...could it have been her daughter's secret MUSLIM baby? I'm just saying. Oh, and I think I heard somewhere that 18% of Americans think the Earth goes around the Sun, or something.

It's not about the person

2008-08-31T09:38:00.001-07:00

...it's about the plumbing. Thanks for the endorsement, Gerry!

That's it, we're all fucking doomed!

2008-08-20T16:17:00.003-07:00

First the goddamn tool-making Caledonian crows, and now magpies with self-awareness. Not to mention the giant Yellowstone ravens. WHERE WILL IT END? And, uh, world? Hasn't somebody been warning about the corvidae for a while now? Somebody named...SCOTT, maybe?

Oh, snap!

2008-08-16T17:09:00.001-07:00

'Gitmo on the Platte'

2008-08-14T06:08:00.002-07:00

Very nice. Pen the damn dirty hippys up like the animals that they are! Whoooo! But what about the homeless concentration camps they're building in Aurora? Inquiring minds want more!

Who's the black private dick

2008-08-10T14:20:00.004-07:00

that's a sex machine to all the chicks? "SHAFT!" Damn right.

Isaac Hayes: RIP.

Awkwardly-formed Headline du Jour

2008-07-29T05:52:00.003-07:00

I don't care where they were interviewed, I just don't think Blackwater should be shooting witnesses, period.

"For some reason...

2008-07-24T20:13:00.003-07:00

...people like to use roadkill wildlife for pranks." Well, duh! Still, a deer's one thing; I'd hate to think what kind of human being would hang a couple dead raccoons from pikes on the front of his bastard homebrew ATV like the Humungus' rig in the Road Warrior.

Definitions

2008-07-20T08:50:00.001-07:00

Horizon, n.: A line you can see in the distance; yet, no matter how long you spend moving toward it, it's still...in the distance.

"Live Free or Die Bold"

2008-07-19T08:58:00.002-07:00

Wasn't that a Bruce Willis movie? Ha ha. But seriously, I hope this guy's credentials as "possibly not just some whiny Democrat" will get this story some traction: "GOP cyber-security expert suggests Diebold tampered with 2002 election". The patch was personally installed by Diebold's CEO?! And it didn't actually fix the problem it was allegedly fixing, and there were two distinct copies of the full source code for the machine. And just what the hell is 'real-time "tuning" of election tabulators"?? How do you "tune" a machine that counts things?

You too, Washington!

2008-07-17T11:03:00.002-07:00

License plate cameras at Washington State Ferry docks, and another delightful federal "watch list": "vehicles...connected to suspected terrorists..." Wow, I wonder what it takes to be suspected of being connected to a suspected terrorist - go to a talk by James Yee, maybe? Or perhaps bitching about such things on a "blog" is enough, who knows. All hail the War on Freedom! No surrender until we've won the victory over ourselves!

Way to go, Denver!

2008-07-17T10:46:00.002-07:00

Illegally fencing in protesters in a so-called "free speech zone" is pretty much par for the course at a major political convention.

But building a concentration camp in Aurora to lock up the homeless - and covering it all with phony, planted stories about how they're going to be given tickets to "the zoo" and "movie theatres" - is just priceless. "Hey homeless people, everybody get on the bus! Don't worry, we're just taking you to, uh, the zoo! And a movie!"

Then again, it's probably all quite necessary to protect us from the terrorists.

That's a little much, even for Hillary

2008-07-16T14:54:00.002-07:00

Ms. Clinton is apparently contacting campaign donors, asking if she can switch their donation for the 2008 general election to her 2012 senate primary. Not the 2008 presidential primary, where she went $20 million in the hole. You know, the $20 million her big campaign fundraisers are bitching that Obama's not doing enough to pay off. The $20 million debt that wouldn't even exist if she'd had the good sense to drop out in March when it was obvious to everyone she wasn't going to get the nomination, instead of going kamikaze on Obama. And her die-hard supporters are demanding a roll-call vote at the convention and talking about how the superdelegates could still swing her way. Sweet Jesus on a biscuit. 1968, here we come.

Happy July 14th

2008-07-14T18:10:00.001-07:00

"Lessons taught but never learned
All around us anger burns
Guide the future by the past
Long ago the mold was cast"

-- Rush, "Bastille Day"

Happy Canadian Fourth of July, eh?

2008-07-01T06:05:00.003-07:00

Or, uh, Humiliation Day! Oh wait, that was what the Chinese-Canadians used to call it; er, Happy Dominion Day! (How come you hosers celebrate the fourth of July on the *first*, anyway, eh?)

When God gives you lemons...

2008-06-25T19:33:00.002-07:00

...make lemonade, of course. But when he gives you a free lawn tractor on Craigslist that takes you and your friend all of half an hour and one beer to get running...make something else!

"Disgrace"

2008-06-19T15:12:00.003-07:00

Why yes, Andrew...let's talk about what's really a disgrace.

Update: the response to the response. Money quote:

"...with every new revelation and every spurious defense and every new lie, it is impossible not to feel anger. In fact, in my view, it is vital to feel anger. And not to let it subside."

As they say at fark.com, Fark: Bush and Cheney will cite all this as reasons to not vote for Obama.

Thought for the day

2008-06-16T07:38:00.002-07:00

Niven's Laws, #17:

NO TECHNIQUE WORKS IF IT ISN'T USED. If that sounds simplistic, look at some specifics:

Telling friends about your diet won't make you thin. Buying a diet cookbook won't either. Even reading the recipes doesn't help.

Knowing about Alcoholics Anonymous, looking up the phone number, even jotting it on real paper, won't make you sober.

Buying weights doesn't give you muscles. Signing a piece of paper won't make Soviet missiles disappear, even if you make lots of copies and tell every anchorperson on Earth. Endlessly studying designs for spacecraft won't put anything into orbit.

-- Larry Niven

Nothing too complex, really...but something I need to be reminded of from time to time. Hey, have I told you about my plans to make my carport into a workshop?

For great justice

2008-06-13T04:06:00.001-07:00

Highly recommended: GraphJam

That's un-American!

2008-06-11T06:42:00.003-07:00

And it's Just Plain Wrong: John McCain will "veto every single beer"! JohnMcCain oppose beermarks! I, on the other hand - if appointed Secretary of Health and Human Services by President-elect Obama - vow to issue beers to every single American!

Why, might you ask, does John McCain have a problem with beer? Well, sometimes it's a religious issue...and just what is Senator McCain's religion? Why haven't we heard him talk about it more? Maybe to conceal the fact that he's the REAL secret muslin in this race?

Concede?

2008-05-19T20:02:00.002-07:00

I'll tell you when she'll fucking concede - the first week of September, when the Supreme Court announces they've refused her emergency appeal of the federal judge's decision dismissing her lawsuit against the Democratic Party in re: the nomination of Barack Obama for President of the United States.

Time to invoke Godwin's Law

2008-05-08T18:29:00.001-07:00

Jaffa, kree!

2008-04-16T17:05:00.001-07:00

KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD

"A city is made of brick, Pharoah"

2008-04-06T17:37:00.002-07:00

"The strong make many, the starving make few. The dead make none."

Rest in peace Chuck, and watch out - they'll be coming to pry it out now.

Toad Killing Day

2008-04-03T09:07:00.001-07:00

As the article says, "the most disgusting creature known to man". Women too, no doubt. Kill me first!

I, for one...

2008-03-21T08:50:00.001-07:00

...welcome our electronic overlords:

"He was still marveling...

2008-03-18T19:32:00.004-07:00

...at the narrowness of his escape when his time ran out and Death fell softly from the summer sky."

"Death and the Senator", Arthur C. Clarke, 1917-2008.
Rest in peace, old friend...you went to the stars, and you brought us along.

An alternate proposal

2008-03-17T16:34:00.003-07:00

Seat half of Florida...and all the uncommitted delegation from Michigan. Heh.

But in seriousness, a thought for the Obama camp: seat 50% of each delegation, as is, even with the patent unfairness with only one candidate in Michigan. It may wind up being the only option that doesn't involve a really bloody fight, which nobody but Hillary wants, but hey - it won't change the delegate count enough to matter. I guesstimate a +60 for Hillary out of that solution. (And why is she still even in the race? Because if she could seat 100% of both, she get around 120, and it WOULD be a close race now. Cheater.)

Michigan and Florida: The Elephant in the Room

2008-03-17T16:09:00.004-07:00

Which, in this case, is an actual (by which I mean figurative) elephant: the GOP. I don't think we'll ever hear this out of Howard Dean's mouth, but let's face it - both parties had to deal with Michigan and Florida, the Republicans got it right, and the Democrats screwed it up royally. The D's bet everything on the nomination being sewn up by now; then, the winner magnanimously has the Florida and Michigan delegations seated in toto...and then they could even go on to criticize the Republicans for cutting the delegations in half. Just one slight problem...it ain't over, and though all the candidates stated they supported the DNC's (admittedly flawed) decision, Hillary sees a last-minute rule change as her only remaining chance to capture the nomination.

Seating both current delegations, however, is manifestly unfair, and it boggles my mind that Hillary can actually argue it with a straight face. For starters, it leaves no punishment for the wayward states that caused this mess in clear violation of well-understood party rules.

Additionally, in Michigan, all the candidates pledged not to "campaign or participate". For all but one, that meant "taking their names off the ballot". And now the only candidate whose name was on the ballot - who's bragged about her "victory" in a contest she didn't "participate" in - thinks the results of the contest she declared at the time was "not going to count for anything" should now magically count. For her.

Florida is a slightly different case, as everyone was on the ballot there. We can debate how well some candidates kept their pledge not to campaign there (Shut up Scott! She wasn't there to campaign two days before the election, she was speaking at fundraisers, not campaign appearances, so she wasn't campaigning!). Okay. But at least everyone was on the ballot.

It would not be right to reward the states that deliberately broke the rules and were the cause of the entire mess with both full delegations and new contests at this time, thereby giving them much more influence here at the end of the campaign than states that played by the rules.

So, a simple solution: re-vote Michigan. Keep the Florida results. And seat only half delegations for each state, which is what the DNC should have done in the first place.

Mr. Toad's Wild Rant

What we've become

Foreigners are funny: Colorado

"They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter"

Offensive Re-headlining of the Week

Down The Memory Hole

Ad of the Week

"Message Bearer"

Epic Fail!

Reagan on Torture

Quote of the Day

"Why is programming fun?"

"Don't judge a book by its cover"

COON RIDER!!!

Quote of the Day

This is a headline

Madoff Bail Revoked

Pigs

School Reform

Grammar Nazis

Headline of the Year (so far)

Revelstone

More evidence of the coming Madness

Gary Condit

You pigs wiped your asses with the Constitution

A poem for Scott

"One day a peacock.

From the horse's mouth

Who's the man?

KHAAAAAAN!

The Madness

"To the last, I will grapple with thee

Blagojevich Balls

For great justice!

Sleepwalking through life

Oh, call the waaaahmbulance

Sounds good to me

The guy who puts the "p", "i" and "g" in "pig"

Snow ho ho!

John Edwards' Illegitimate Love Child!

Mmm...

Happy Birthday, old friends!

War on Christmas: We're all naughty

Tony Soprano or Rod Blagojevich?

Football Trivia

Whoo hoo! We're Ground Zero

Mr. Benford Goes to Washington

Jesus H. Fucking Duh

Oddity of the Week: Benford's Law

Maybe it was God. Or his conscience.

So very sad

Truth in Advertising

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"

LOLcat, indeed

Change we can...digest?

Wow: President.

Vote Suppression, Scott-style

Madelyn Payne Dunham, R.I.P.

"If They're Too Big To Fail, They're Too Big Period"

Six more days. Yes we can!

"I's not sayin' she's lyin', Mr. Atticus...

Oh no, that would be *awful*!

Mental Health Break: Gates of Steel

CHARLES FUCKING KEATING

Vice Presidential nominee?

"A New Twist to an Old Favorite"

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?

John McCain: The Child Molester's Candidate

Palin for...PRESIDENT!

Question of the Day

Well, at least the maternity issue's settled

Err, WTF?!

It's not about the person

That's it, we're all fucking doomed!

Oh, snap!

'Gitmo on the Platte'

Who's the black private dick

Awkwardly-formed Headline du Jour

"For some reason...

Oh no, that would be awful!